When your date comes to an end, it’s time to take stock


When your date comes to an end, it’s time to take stock

Well-groomed or not – the hairstyle reveals a lot

Unkempt hair always makes a bad impression. Deficiencies in the hairstyle are particularly significant on a date. When you meet a woman or a man for the first time, you don’t know very much about him or her. However, if the hair is greasy and uncombed, this suggests one conclusion: this person does not seem to care too much about personal hygiene. As a potential partner, he or she can withdraw at this point in time.

Long hair: Better only for women

In addition to the level of grooming, the type of hairstyle also says something about a person – at least that’s what most contemporaries think. They attribute certain characteristics to certain hairstyles. It remains to be seen whether these determinations are correct. One thing is certain: women prefer men with short hair. And most men want a woman with a long mane.

The subconscious cannot necessarily decide about the success of a date, but it can definitely influence the outcome. Through a targeted control of thoughts and an awareness of the many, small signals from the other person, you will reach your goal with certainty.

Get the subconscious going

Any kind of arousal in the subconscious is conducive to the mood on the date. This does not mean sexual arousal per se: The adrenaline rush during a rapid roller coaster ride or in an exciting scene from the horror film also gets the mind pumping. The brain cares little where the impulse comes from: any form of excitement is subconsciously related to the human attraction of the other person – and that is very beneficial on a date.

Pay attention to signals, influence the course of the conversation

Not only should you listen carefully during a conversation, you should also pay attention to the many, small gestures of the other person. In the next step, you can react to facial expressions and gestures and, for example, adjust your conversation speed or hold your head in a similar way. Studies have shown that the women of creation in particular note such small similarities in the back of their heads as positive. Entertaining topics of conversation with the potential to laugh do the rest: Postpone in-depth discussions about the global political situation, money or religion to the later meeting – at the beginning it is important to create a simple, entertaining “common denominator”. You can actively influence the conversation and, for example, loosen it up here and there with a casual saying. Authenticity plays a particularly important role here: Anyone who pretends and bends too much quickly attracts negative attention.

There are many ways to get to know someone: You can join a sports club, make eye contact at the bar or use the Internet to find a partner. But most women are at a loss when it comes to the question: How do I please my dream prince and how can I conquer him? Professional support is available, for example, in coaching seminars on the subject of flirting and dating. There you learn how to be more successful with the opposite sex – because everything is actually very simple: "Women always attract men magnetically when they like themselves and show themselves for who they are", knows Regina Swoboda, single coach and managing director of open4life. In the interview, she reveals her tips.

Flirt artfully The best tips for women

T-Online: Where can I find my Prince Charming?

Regina Swoboda:

The best place to look for and find the Prince Charming is in a place that suits me, where I like to be and where I feel good. We help our participants to find out what they like to do and where their charisma is particularly strong. A passionate dancer who feels very comfortable dancing salsa has a better chance of getting to know a man there than on a soccer field, which she only visits because she suspects many men there.to kill a mockingbird discrimination essay

Many of the participants are also looking for a partner online. We also provide help: How do I write an individual profile, the first email and how do I continue if I am interested? How do I have an interesting phone call and what do I do on a first date? 

T-Online: Why is it so difficult for many people to find a partner?

Regina Swoboda:

There are many reasons for that. Young people in their early 20s have an easier time finding someone. Most are still unattached, they go out and there are many opportunities to get to know others. From your mid-thirties you have a harder time. There are not so many unattached anymore, you have had good and bad experiences in relationships, you become more cautious and many women place high demands on a new partner. Some women no longer feel attractive after a failed relationship and want to change something about their appearance first – for example, lose weight, take care of themselves. Often they lack self-confidence.

T-Online: Who takes part in your single coaching?

Regina Swoboda:

For the most part, these are people who are in the middle of life, between their late 20s and mid-50s. It is rather rare that they are very shy people. The participants in our seminars say to themselves: In order to get ahead in my job, I am doing advanced training – I can do the same with new relationships and flirting. And for this they take the help of a professional.

T-Online: What do the participants learn in your seminars? 

Regina Swoboda:

The first thing they know is how they affect other people. You will be judged by the other participants: You are smartly dressed and wear expensive jewelry, which is why you appear sophisticated. This gives them the opportunity to see each other with different eyes and to work on their charisma.

They also learn how to get in touch with other people or how to get others to contact you. This is practiced in role play. Many can talk, but have not learned to arouse interest or make connections. Women often have to learn again to let men woo them. You are your husband in your job, you are full of power and of course you also organize the appointment with the new one with your left hand. That is often too brash for men.

T-Online: When was single coaching successful for you?

Regina Swoboda:

It’s great when the participants notice the changes among each other: This morning you still seemed very cautious and negative, now you are much funnier and more open. For me it is important that people develop their own style and that way they come across as authentic, confident and lively. Then they do not need to learn flirtation, but can react spontaneously and from the moment.

T-Online: You have already found your dream prince yourself – Can you give our readers a final tip?

Regina Swoboda:

It’s not enough to just get a new hairstyle and a new outfit. If you want to get ahead, be it in love and partnership or in your job, you have to get to know yourself better and not waste time with the wrong people: Where do I want to be in the future, who really suits me? Much of what I radiate comes back to me. If I exude happiness, I also attract happy people! The other way around: If I have blind spots myself, I attract people who reflect them to me.

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Sex on the first date is always a tightrope walk: It is not uncommon for serious relationships to outgrow despite the short-term rendezvous in bed. Often, however, an uncertainty remains with women in particular: Was it a "One night stand" or something more serious?

Alcohol is often involved

The first date is an art in itself: slowly and cautiously, it is important to find out about the other person – what interests he / she has, what goals in life, what “no-gos” when it comes to relationships … Kissing, let alone sex, is all right at first not the talk. Rather, men and women first find out whether there is a common basis for following up the contact or not. When the chemistry just doesn’t seem right, it’s often just the first date. If you laugh bravely together and find yourself apparently attractive, the end of the evening is usually open.

The experience of singles shows again and again that alcohol is very often involved in the case of sex on the first date: someone who is thirsty makes you relaxed and uninhibited – this is rarely positive, because remorse catches up with you by the next morning at the latest.

Think carefully about sex on the first date

Accordingly, you should always carefully consider whether sex on the first date is basically an option for you: The start of a relationship is not fundamentally spoiled, but it is usually more difficult. A certain one-night-stand aftertaste fuels doubts about the seriousness of the whole thing. Regardless of this, the act itself can simply fail – be it because of inexperience, a nervous state of mind or simply because of the “daytime shape”. You don’t exactly make a good impression with that.

One or the other faux pas threatens, especially on the first date: Here an inappropriate remark, there an inattentive knocking over the wine bottle – the romantic rendezvous already mutates into a competition in mutual shame.

Pay attention to “no-gos”

Dates are a science in themselves – accordingly, a lot is written, philosophized and guessed about the meeting of men and women. Of course, the line between a significant faux pas and a minor mishap depends primarily on the situation, the character of the people involved, and the general mood.

For example, an overturned glass of wine in the course of a fit of laughter should not have a negative impact: Such things happen in the heat of the moment and are more of an unforgettable anecdote that you will gladly tell yourself later. A popular example of absolute “no-gos” is constantly looking at the watch or cell phone.

Many people who are always short in their professional life do this simply out of habit without ulterior motives. However, it suggests a disinterest in the conversation to the other person. Excessive alcohol consumption and too profound topics of conversation such as politics, sex or religion are also classic faux pas on a first date.  

This is how the conversation succeeds on a date

The art of damage control

If the mishap has already happened, the date doesn’t have to automatically sink into embarrassment. A relaxed saying and a little self-criticism save some moments and even make the situation somehow sympathetic in places. The leitmotif should always be a certain charm: Instead of staring aggressively at the other person’s cell phone, dare a casual hint like “I would like to get to know you in peace – would you mind turning off your cell phone for a moment?”

The first date is over. Now the question arises: is there a reunion? If you interpret the signs of your counterpart correctly, you will find the answer. And when in doubt, just take the initiative.

The search for the dream partner

Finding the right partner can be pretty exciting. Of course there are couples who see each other, fall in love and are married six months later. However, these lucky ones are more the exception than the rule. Most other people have to get one or the other date over with before they find their dream partner. After the first meeting the question arises whether there will be a reunion. You can either ask for it directly or try to correctly interpret your dating partner’s signs.

The date is over: take stock!

When your date comes to an end, it’s time to take stock. This does not mean that you should discuss the meeting with the other person. Rather, you should quietly make an assessment for yourself: Do you find your dating partner sympathetic? Did you talk to him in a relaxed atmosphere? Did you have common topics or did you always have embarrassing breaks? And what about body language? Were you inclined to one another? The more you get positive answers, the more signs there are of a reunion.

Watch out for the goodbye

When you say goodbye, you can tell whether your counterpart is interested in seeing you again after the date. If she is cool and reserved, there is little interest. If it turns out cordial, you can have hope.

If you are dating a potential partner, you can choose your favorite cafe as the location for it. But is this really the right place for a date? The familiar and familiar surroundings can also be your undoing. Meeting a familiar face there can be a disadvantage at times. After all, they want to make the best impression in front of your crush.

Dating tips for singles

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No time for the date

Having your first date in your favorite cafe could have negative effects. If you run into too many familiar faces, you may run out of time to meet. The more people you know there, the less time you have for the actual purpose of the meeting. Your date may feel like second choice and completely out of place.

Do without your favorite cafe

If you want to go about your first date in a relaxed manner, it is better to choose a neutral location for the meeting. You can get to know each other easily in a strange environment. If you are personable, you can still introduce your date to your friends.

You should always allow enough time for the first meeting. Make sure that you can get to know the other person in peace. Get a first impression and let the appointment sink in. If you choose a neutral location, you can save yourself embarrassing moments. If your date has been cheated beforehand and is not what it said it was on the Internet, for example, you will not become a mockery of your friends.